MOSES: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the
Chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road!" And the chicken crossed the road,
and there was much rejoicing.
AGENT MULDER: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many
more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the
chicken did NOT cross the road.
BILL CLINTON: We categorically deny the chicken did cross the road and
any allegations to the contrary by the right-wing extremists should be
postponed until I am out of office.
JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't
anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking
around all over the place, anyway?"
FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed
the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
MAE WEST: He was a bad chicken. A verry bad chicken--but a good one if
ya know what I mean?
BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2000, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook.
OLIVER STONE: The question is NOT why did the chicken cross the road?
Rather, it is, Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we
overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?
LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
chicken crossed the black man in order to trample him and keep him down!
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR. I envision a world where all chickens will be
free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Someone told us that the chicken had crossed the road, and that was
good enough for us!
MACHIAVELLI: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares
why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
EINSTEIN: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved
beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
BUDDHA: Asking this questions denies your own chicken nature.
RALPH WALDO EMERSON: The chicken did not cross the road; it transcended
it.
ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.
COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
Tsuh Yang Chen, NYC