Yolonde
:>> What do you call a lawyer with an I. Q. of 50?
:>> Your honor.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> What do you call a lawyer whose gone bad?
:>> Senator.
:>> ----------------------------------------------------------
:>> What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline? You take off
your
:>> shoes to jump on a trampoline!
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good
:>> start!
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
:>> His lips are moving.
:>> ----------------------------------------------------------
:>> What's the difference between a dead dog and a dead lawyer in the road?
:>> There are skid marks in front of the dog.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> How many lawyers does it take to roof a house? Depends on how thin you
:>> slice them.
:>> ----------------------------------------------------------
:>> Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
:>> Professional courtesy.
:>> ----------------------------------------------------------
:>> What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? Not enough
:sand.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> When lawyers die, why are they buried in a hole 24 feet deep?
:>> Because down deep, they are all nice guys!!!!
:>> ----------------------------------------------------------
:>> How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?
:>> Cut the rope.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
:>> Shoot him before he hits the water.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")? When a
busload
:>> of lawyers goes off a cliff.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
:>> There was an empty seat.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> How many lawyers does it take to stop a moving bus?
:>> Never enough.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> Have you heard about the lawyers word processor? No matter what font
:>> you select, everything come out in fine print.
:>> ----------------------------------------------------------
:>> What's the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
:>> One's a bottom-crawling scum sucker and the other's just a fish.
:>> ----------------------------------------------------------
:>> Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers? He
:>> threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
:>> ----------------------------------------------------------
:>> What does a lawyer and a sperm have in common? Both have about a one
:>> in 3 million chance of becoming a human being.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? From chasing parked
:>> ambulances.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> Where can you find a good lawyer?
:>> In the cemetery
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The
:>> lawyer charges more.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
:>> A vampire only sucks blood at night.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> What is brown and black and looks good on a lawyer?
:>> A doberman.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?
:>> Heck, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
:>> ----------------------------------------------------------
:>> Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps? Because people
:>> could not tell which side to spit on.
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers?
:>> It's called, Sosumi.
:>
:>> -----------------------------------------------------------
:>> Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are
walking
:>> down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar
:bill. Who gets it?
:>> The old drunk, of course, the other three are mythological creatures.