Roy Hunter
Co-Chairman
ANGFA of North America
visit our website at:
http://www.angfa.org
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> From: Alan Ford <aford at pcug.org.au>
> To: rainbowfish at pcug.org.au
> Subject: Re: [RML] SPAM Stages of Life
> Date: Monday, March 10, 1997 5:11 PM
>
> Hi Oh mighty Dweeb,
>
> Why is it I seem to resemble so many of the remrks below?
>
> Stay outa this one Rooster...
>
> Cheers
> Alan
>
> At 03:57 PM 3/10/97 -0700, you wrote:
> >G'day Dweebs
> >
> >I couldn't resist sending this one to the list given it's present jovial
> >mood and especially given the discussion on age and everything else on
irc.
> >
> >Peter Unmack
> >
> > THE MALE STAGES OF LIFE
> >
> > AGE DRINK
> > 17 draft beer
> > 25 beer
> > 35 rye
> > 48 double rye
> > 66 Maalox
> >
> > SEDUCTION LINE
> > 17 My parents are away for the weekend.
> > 25 My girlfriend is away for the weekend.
> > 35 My fiancee is away for the weekend.
> > 48 My wife is away for the weekend.
> > 66 My second wife is dead.
> >
> > FAVORITE SPORT
> > 17 sex
> > 25 sex
> > 35 sex
> > 48 sex
> > 66 napping
> >
> > DRUG
> > 17 pot
> > 25 coke
> > 35 really good coke
> > 48 power
> > 66 coke, a limousine, the company jet
> >
> > DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
> > 17 "tongue"
> > 25 "breakfast"
> > 35 "She didn't set back my therapy."
> > 48 "I didn't have to meet her kids."
> > 66 "Got home alive."
> >
> > FAVORITE FANTASY
> > 17 getting to third
> > 25 airplane sex
> > 35 menage a trois
> > 48 taking the company public
> > 66 Swiss maid/Nazi love slave
> >
> > HOUSE PET
> > 17 roaches
> > 25 stoned-out college roommate
> > 35 Irish setter
> > 48 children from first marriage
> > 66 Barbi
> >
> > WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
> > 17 25
> > 25 35
> > 35 48
> > 48 66
> > 66 17
> >
> > IDEAL DATE
> > 17 Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in
> > 25 "Split the check before we go back to my place"
> > 35 "Just come over."
> > 48 "Just come over and cook."
> > 66 sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > THE FEMALE STAGES OF LIFE
> >
> > AGE DRINK
> > 17 Wine Coolers
> > 25 White wine
> > 35 Red wine
> > 48 Dom Perignon
> > 66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
> >
> > EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
> > 17 Need to wash my hair
> > 25 Need to wash and condition my hair
> > 35 Need to color my hair
> > 48 Need to have Francois color my hair
> > 66 Need to have Francois color my wig
> >
> > FAVORITE SPORT
> > 17 shopping
> > 25 shopping
> > 35 shopping
> > 48 shopping
> > 66 shopping
> >
> > DRUG
> > 17 shopping
> > 25 shopping
> > 35 shopping
> > 48 shopping
> > 66 shopping
> >
> > DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
> > 17 "Burger King"
> > 25 "Free meal"
> > 35 "A diamond"
> > 48 "A bigger diamond"
> > 66 "Home Alone"
> >
> > FAVORITE FANTASY
> > 17 tall, dark and handsome
> > 25 tall, dark and handsome with money
> > 35 tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
> > 48 a man with hair
> > 66 a man
> >
> > HOUSE PET
> > 17 Muffy the cat
> > 25 Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
> > 35 Irish setter and Muffy the Cat
> > 48 Children from first marriage and Muffy the Cat
> > 66 Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs
> > Muffy the Cat
> >
> > WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED?
> > 17 17
> > 25 25
> > 35 35
> > 48 48
> > 66 66
> >
> > IDEAL DATE
> > 17 He offers to pay
> > 25 He pays
> > 35 He cooks breakfast the next morning
> > 48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
> > 66 He can chew breakfast
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> |__________________________________\|/___________________________|
> Alan Ford aford at pcug.org.au Canberra, Australia
>
> In caverns deep, the Old Gods sleep;
> but the trees still know their Lord,
> and it's the Pipes of Pan which call the tune,
> in the twilight of the wood.
> The leaves they dance to the Goat God's tune,
> and they whisper his name to the winds,
> and the oak tree dreams of a God with horns,
> and knows no other King.
>
> Homepages: http://www.pcug.org.au/~aford
> http://www.pcug.org.au/~aford/angfa.htm