[RML] Fw: Australian ventriloquist

Gary Lange (gwlange at stlnet.com)
Tue, 27 Jul 1999 20:16:50 -0500

thought you might entertain your Kiwi friends with this one.

An Australian ventriloquist was on holiday visiting New Zealand. As he
walked
into a small town, he saw an old man sitting on porch patting his dog. He
figured he would have a little fun.

Ventriloquist: "G'day Mate! Good looking dog, mate. Mind if I speak to him?"

New Zealander: "The dog doesn't talk, ya stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hey dog, how's it going old mate?"
Dog : "Doin' alright."
New Zealander: (extreme look of shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this Kiwi your owner?" (pointing at the New Zealander)
Dog : "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog : "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food, and takes me
to the lake once a week to play."
New Zealander: (look of disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
New Zealander: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either ... I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse : "Cool."
New Zealander: (extreme look of shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the New Zealander)!
Horse : "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How's he treat you?"
Horse : "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me
down
often, and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
New Zealander: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
New Zealander: "The sheep's a liar."