Now anybody contemplating staying at the "Hansen Holiday Haven" at lovely
Lawnton (a 4 stubbies and picnic lunch drive from my place) there are a few
things you have to know. First of all you have to give up smoking, stop
chawing tobacco and drink plenty of CHEAP Green Ginger Wine.
This establishment comes complete with Swimming Pool although you have to
share it with the aquatic plants and fish. Incidentally, ANGFA (Qld) uses
this pool for training new members in the art of collecting fish and plants.
All new Members have to get a collecting permit and to obtain it you have to
dive (or jump, if you cant dive) into the Swimming Pool and catch 10
rainbowfishes and 2 gudgeons. You also have to correctly identify 5 aquatic
plant species.
For old fellows like me you can just simply sit on the side and dangle your
hairy legs into the water while consuming a glass or two of that CHEAP Green
Ginger Wine. As the fishes come near to nibble at the hairs on your legs all
you have to do is take a big swipe at them (the fish) with a very large dip
net as they swim by. However, if you're not very good at catching the
required numbers you will have probably consumed too many glasses of that
CHEAP Green Ginger Wine and just fall into the Pool (but hey, that's half
the fun). But don't worry there is always a Doctor in the House ~ perhaps a
little inebriated but still very capable. BTW I still haven't managed to get
my permit yet ;-)
Other attractions to watch out for are the resident canines as they will
certainly make you feel at home. Also be careful where you walk, as you will
occasionally encounter the odd red-bellied snake. Finally make sure you take
your own coffee. "Dr. Hansen Snake Oil" is guaranteed to cure you of any bad
caffeine habits you may have acquired over the years. Also make sure you
wipe your feet before you go through the bedroom to visit the fishroom. You
know, the Docs favourite line for visiting Widows is "You wanta see my
fish". Overall I give the "Hansen Hilton" a 3 star rating. Now if they only
allowed smoking I might consider giving it a 4 star rating!
While in Brisbane you must visit the "Meiklejohn Mansion" it also comes with
a Swimming Pool and has one of those gadgets that follows you around and
cleans the pool as you swim. The Meiklejohn Mansion is partly
air-conditioned and contains all the high tech computer stuff you will ever
need. I think it even has cable TV. A must see though is the Honey Pond (NO
not that sort), a Honey Blue-eye pond where you can see the proper colours
that Honey Blue-eyes show in the wild. Nets are prohibited and smoking is
allowed out on the terrace. Overall, a 3 and a half star rating.
Also yawl will be welcomed to visit the "Tappin Tavern" a somewhat little
run down establishment that's seen too many kids, grand kids and fish
committee meetings. Just enter through the broken screen door at the front
(no, I haven't fixed it yet Roy!). Air conditioning is provided by the
natural bay breezes that it gets occasionally, although not many this summer
:-(
However if you enjoy the odd glass of beer or better still wish to sample
one of Queenslands best Rums and don't mind the odd passive smoking attack
(Roy just loves it particularly after staying at the Hansen Hilton), then
this is the place to visit. You might even see some rainbowfishes (if you
have time) and get some good old time ANGFA stories. No Swimming Pool is
provided as all that healthy stuff just wastes good drinking time. You'll
have to apply your own star rating!
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Adrian R. Tappin
"Home of the Rainbowfish"
http://www.ecn.net.au/~atappin/home.htm
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